Reality Of OUR COUNTRY Most Of The 1:Funny SMS in English

Reality Of
OUR COUNTRY

Most Of The 1st Class
Passed Students Get
...Technical Seats;
Some Become Doctors
& Some Become
Engineers.

The 2nd Class Passed
Students Pass MBA &
Become Administrator
& Control The 1st Class.

The 3rd Class Passed
Students Enter In To
Politics & Become
Minister & Control Both.

Last But Not Least

The Failure Joins

"UNDERWORLD"

&

Control All The Above =P =D

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How to Kill a Mosquito:Funny SMS in English

How to Kill a Mosquito:Funny SMS in English

How to Kill a mosquito:
Catch it alive,
Tie its legs
then make gudgudi in its stomach
and when it laughs
,Catch its mouth
& pour a spoon of Poison ….

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U r a nice person…::Funny SMS in English

U r a nice person…::Funny SMS in English

U r a nice person…
but..U have to do 2 things early in the morning…
1st. pray to God so that u can live….
2nd.take a bath so that others can live….

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Before and after marriage::Funny SMS in English

Before and after marriage::Funny SMS in English

Before marriage:
Roses are red, sky is blue,
O my darling! I love you…

After Marriage:
Roses are dead,
I have flu,
don’t come near me,
Paray hatt tuu,

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Wife:What is 10 years with me::Funny SMS in English

Wife:What is 10 years with me::Funny SMS in English

Wife:What is 10 years with me?
Husband:A second.

Wife:What is $1000 for me?
Husband:A coin.

Wife: Ok give me a coin.
Husband:Wait a second

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How is the situation:Funny SMS in English

How is the situation:Funny SMS in English

Husband wanted to call the hospital
to ask about his pregnant wife,
but accidently called the cricket stadium.

He asks, “How’s the situation?”

He was shocked & nearly died on hearing the reply.

They said, “It’s fine. 3 are out,
hope to get another 7 out by lunch,
last one was a duck!”..:-P

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My Mobile has changed:Funny SMS in English

My Mobile has changed:Funny SMS in English

Sardar bought a new mobile.
He send message to everyone from his Cell
“My Mobile No. Has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 1110 Now it is nokia 6600″

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Medical Shayari:Funny SMS in English

Medical Shayari:Funny SMS in English

Medical Shayari

When you breathe, you respire!
Wah Wah!

When you breathe, you respire!
Wah Wah!

When U don’t breathe, you expire!

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Standing on his 100 Rupees:Funny SMS in English

Standing on his 100 Rupees:Funny SMS in English

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student:There was a man who lost a 100 Rupees.
Teacher: Thats Nice, Were you helping him look for his 100 Rupees
Student: No I Was standing on his 100 Rupees

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A Judge said…..::Funny SMS in English

A Judge said…..::Funny SMS in English

A Judge said..
order..
Order..
Order..
Sardar :
1 Pizza
2 Chicken
1 Coldrink
Judge:
Shut Up.
SARDAR:
no Shut Up only 7Up..:p

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Give me a pocket full of money:Funny SMS in English

Give me a pocket full of money:Funny SMS in English

Boy 2 God:
Give me a pocket full of money,
A job & a big vehicle full of girls.
God replied:your wish is fullfilled
&
He became a bus conductor of karachi university point.:p

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What is BUSINESS ::Funny SMS in English

What is BUSINESS ::Funny SMS in English

What is BUSINESS ?
Dad: I want u 2 marry a girl of my choice.
Son: No
Dad: The girl is Bill Gate’s daughter.
Son: then Ok.
Dad goes o Bill Gates.
Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates: No
Dad: My son is the CEO of the World Bank.
Bill Gates: Than ok
Dad goes 2 the President of the [...]

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U are Complete CARTOON:Funny SMS in English

U are Complete CARTOON:Funny SMS in English

U are Sweet like TOM,
Cute like JERRY,
Naughty like BUGS BUNNY,
Strong like POPEYE,
Innocent like Tweety,
In short,
U are Complete CARTOON

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A boy was following a girl:Funny SMS in English

A boy was following a girl:Funny SMS in English

A boy was following a girl.
Girl: “don’t follow me, because my mother is coming behind you”
Boy: “don’t worry, my father is following her..:p

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Wooden Leg::Funny SMS in English

Wooden Leg::Funny SMS in English

A lady wrote to an advice column in a newspaper: “I have been engaged to a man for some time, but just before the wedding, I find he has a wooden leg. Do you think I should break it off?”

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Words of Wisdom::Funny SMS in English

Words of Wisdom::Funny SMS in English

*

Time is a marvellous healer but is a complete failure as a beautician.
*

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s £1.50 per minute
*

Never let a man’s mind wander, it’s too little to be out on it’s own
*

I’ve used up all my sick days, so I’m calling in dead.
*

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.
*

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
*

The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
*

I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
*

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
*

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
*

Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will whiz on your computer.
*

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
*

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
*

Don’t take life too seriously; no-one gets out alive.
*

It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.
*

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
*

Is there another word for synonym?
*

Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagent ring, a wedding ring, and suffering
*

ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.

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Facts And Fiction::Funny SMS in English

Facts And Fiction::Funny SMS in English

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

I only use deodorant under one arm, so I know what I would have smelled of.

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

Borrow money from pessimists–they don’t expect it back

Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.

My Reality Check bounced.

Why do farts smell? For benefit of the deaf.

WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!

Do you ever notice that when you’re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

Don’t spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They’ll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p.

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! … Now read without the word dog.

God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested.

News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo… 1 was caught watching tv… another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

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Philips Tubelight::Funny SMS in English

Philips Tubelight::Funny SMS in English

Dark were those days, without your sight.

When I was in darkness, you gave me light.

You gave me strength 2 make life bright.

Thank you so much PHILIPS TUBELIGHT

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Funny Definations SMS:Funny SMS in English

Funny Definations SMS:Funny SMS in English

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”.
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway “See I am not injured yet.”
24. Pessimist : A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest… except that he got caught.
28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

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Love marriage and arranged marriage:Funny SMS in English,

Love marriage and arranged marriage:Funny SMS in English

Its funny when people discuss over “love marriage” and “arranged marriage”
It is like asking a person if he would like to “hang himself” or “shoot himself”.

What is a girl friend?
Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies & division of friends.

Guide: “I welcome you all to Niagara Falls . These are the world’s largest
waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20
supersonic plane s passing by can’t be heard.

Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara
Falls?”

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